black and white

okay.
it's gonna be black and white now.
pheel so fresh yet so retro , seems like I grew in war zone. i want to continue writing this blog after spm. maybe more update on my activity ( or maybe unproductive activity of that hols ) haha watever .

i'm addict to DOSFAMILY's blog now. they seems too cool. they make lot of art project and their family are very dorks. i want to write something like that. i'll try my best on putting some effort on doing good photos and designs and artworks. but everything gonna be done after spm hokey.


i hate my trials btw.
trials seems sucks. please i wanna go to japan. hmmmm

there are art festival in KL rite now but I cannot go because nobody want to send me there. it's always like this. this is why sometimes i hate holidays very much. art festivals are everywhere and it's just me who always stuck here and there. esp when i live with my grandma right now. everything fun out there have turn into boring one. i couldn't lie anywhere i like just like when i live in my old house. i couldn't do anything that i like because everything will be watch. i am ............. very sad. because queen mother gonna rules the world. and when i shut off my mouth quietly doing my chores, i'll be accused sleeping. oh my god that's hurt very much. i want my old house back. hmmmmmm

okay , writing actually doesn't help at all.

jya .

Pasrah .

aku tahu .
aku sedar .
aku siapa .

pasrahnya .

mungkin blog ni sudah berkepuk tahi unta tapi aku masih nak menulis dekat sini . aku rindu nak menulis . aku rindu hidup yang lama . mungkin orang tengok hidup aku tiada perubahan pun tapi segenap pelusuk hati mengatakan ya , hidup aku berubah 360 darjah tanpa disedari . mungkin jadi yang lebih baik ? entah . tuan punya badan pun tidak mengerti . tapi yang pasti, aku rindu zaman aku dekat sekolah lama . ya, mungkin ada kebaikannya merasai pengalaman baru. ya, mungkin menjadikan diri ini lebih matang.

dah, semua mukadimah tu tak menerangkan ke-pasrah-an aku sekarang. aku ada tulis satu puisi yang tak berapa nak puitis tapi ala-ala-carte je lah anggap je benda ni puisi eh



   Fall in A War   

From a small humor
our eyes meet
while smiles curve
it's like a hook
by a charming crook

I'm still thinking
whether you are thinking
about what each of us think
and i think
this is a starter or disaster

day by day
in the corner of my brain
there are imagination
of a cinderella and a dumb prince
who fall in love from nowhere

yet i am a fool
because you're a heartbreaker
from a crunchy wind that blew
knowing that you're actually
belonging to a diamond
that are thousand time perfect than me

I feel small
I feel lost
I feel suck
I feel hurt
just like when German fall in the war

Hurting all the nerves in pain
without no mercy
I was thrown million miles away
from your freaking life
that you live every moment


-ditulis oleh diri sendiri-


ditulis pada satu saat dimana hati ini mula pasrah, senyum mula terukir kesakitan, kaki berdiri tidak stabil, hidup mula berwarna-warni . aku benci bila kau pakai penuh bergaya . lengan baju melayu disinsing ke siku penuh macho . canvas di kaki menarik perhatian. jeans hitam segak . aku tak boleh tengok . sakit mata . sakit hati . aku tahu kau milik orang lain .